Road trips are fun because it demands your comfy college sweatshirt, all the snacks, a crisp fountain drink, and Alanis Morissette. It means car dances, air drums and your flawless shower voice. When you think about it, you really don't even need a good voice, because the volume drowns out even the worst of vocals. Long extended times in the car can be exciting - It means you are going on a mini adventure. Most adventures however, normally don't come to completion without the hindrance of one, or all, of these typical road trip pet peeves.
A I R C O N D I T I O N I N G
The arctic freeze is the only thing that can make my hubby truly comfortable in the car, while I enjoy a nice beachy middle ground. These two skin types typically go to war in the car...and we do. I'm convinced that his body could sweat in the freezer, so a nice strong North Face for me is typically not optional. I haven't tried convincing him to drive shirtless, however, this is my next tactic.
M A N F A R T S
Once we've settled our A/C battles, things seem to settle down. We all know that popular saying right? "The calm before the storm." I wasn't prepared for that Cheesy Gordita Crunch from Taco Bell to come back and haunt me. There I am, minding my own business, enjoying a particularly fresh batch of Rolo's (with my mouth open) when it hit me. Immediately my arm almost disconnects from my shoulder socket in search of the window button so I can, once again, breath clean air. Every woman has suffered from a textbook case of the man farts. This is the only thing that can keep you from hitting Mariah Carey's highest note.
S L O W L A N E L E F T L A N E - E R S
If you are driving in the left lane and you are driving AT OR BELOW the speed limit...then you kindly belong in the right lane. The left lane is for passing vehicles and people who are not out for a Sunday drive. If you are in the left lane and driving parallel to the person in the right lane, then get over. If you are in the left lane and a vehicle is on your bumper, then get out of the way. I CANT HANDLE THIS!
S T I C K F A M I L I E S
Every time I see one, I just shake my head. I also can't handle a bumper sticker that is just a little right of center and or crooked.
R I D I N G T O O C L O S E - T O T H E S T E E R I N G W H E E L
We were headed to Austin this past weekend and I look over to see a person practically eating their steering wheel. This seems so potentially harmful. One small fender bender and your front teeth will pay the ultimate price, and that is best case scenario. If that airbag goes off, then you are in a bad way. It also makes me nervous, because the ability to turn your vehicle is compromised by your limited chicken wing arms.
H O T E L C O N D I T I O N E R
Because a hot shower is the only remedy for that Cheesy Gordita Crunch gone wrong earlier, I head right for the bathroom. I get to my toiletry bag, only to realize that I forgot my Shampoo and conditioner. Immediately, I have to prepare myself for the tragedy that will be my hair for the next two days. Lucky for me, I brought a hat!
You know what I am talking about though. The shampoo isn't so much the problem, it's the conditioner. I'm determined that all hotel conditioner is really body lotion in efforts to cut costs. And my favorite is the Shampoo & Conditioner combo. We know good and well there is NO conditioner in there!